


Bassface

by MorellaPike



Category: Metallica
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cinderella Elements, Crack, Gen, Male Cinderella, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 16:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14918795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorellaPike/pseuds/MorellaPike
Summary: Cinderella AU where Jason is Cinderella, James Lars & Kirk are the evil stepsisters, Bob Rock is the evil stepmother, Phil Anselmo of Pantera is the fairy godmother, and Ozzy Osbourne is Prince Charming so to speak.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old fic. I realized that when I deleted my old livejournal all my non-smut stories were no longer accessible online. So I'm posting here in case anyone actually cared. I honestly just want to apologize for this story in advance. It was born out of a dare.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Metallica. The events here are a parody of two stories and never happened

**ONE**

From the Urban Dictionary:

BASS FACE - _Facial contortions of a bass player involving mouth twisting to the groove, chin dropping impossibly low, brow furrowing, a seemingly blank stare and a general unawareness of the condition._

 

 

         Jason Newsted was listening to the radio when his phone rang. He had just gotten out of the shower, and was still wrapped in a towel as he sat on his bed listening with rapt attention as the DJ announced that Cliff Burton had died in a tragic bus accident just two days ago. The rest of the band was injured, but would be fine with no lasting effects.

         He was tempted to let the phone ring as he wanted to hear the rest of the news about Metallica. The DJ was still talking, but Jason went ahead and reached to pick up the phone on his nightstand after the fifth ring.

         "Hello?" he said.

         "Jason, it's Brian.” Brian Slagel was his former band manager, an older fatherly type of guy who had been in the business for a long time. Unfortunately, the band had broken up, but Brian never stopped calling Jason and getting him gigs to cover the bills until Jason could form another band that would hopefully stay together. Jason had moved halfway across the country trying to chase his dream of making music for a living, but every band he was in would just fall apart after a few months.

         "What's up man?" Jason responded.

         "Did you hear the news about Cliff Burton?" Brian asked. He didn't bother to add on from Metallica. Brian knew Jason was a huge Metallica fan because Jason always warmed up in the studio by playing Metallica songs.

         "Yeah, yeah, right now on the radio," Jason said. "That fucking sucks so bad. Why do the good die young, huh?"

         "I know, I know, it's fucking terrible," Brian said. "And not to sound like an asshole or something, but it also means they're going to need a new bass player."

         "Brian, the guy just died like two days ago," Jason said a little shocked. "They can't be thinking about that so soon."

         "I was surprised too when they called," Brian said. “Their manager, Bob Rock, called me and a few other people it seems looking for replacement bass players. He says they need someone to start ASAP as soon as the other guys in the band recover."

         "Why so soon?" Jason asked. "Aren't they seriously upset?"

         "Rock said they couldn't afford to cancel all those tour dates."

         "Wait, so why are you calling me?" Jason asked. A light bulb went off over his head as he said the words. _They need a bass player. I play bass._

         "How could I not think of you when asked if I knew any awesome bass players who happen to already know how to play all of Metallica's most popular songs," Brian said smiling into his end of the receiver wishing he could see Jason’s face when understanding dawned on him.

         "Oh, my God," Jason whispered.

         "Listen. The band is flying back to San Francisco in a few days. We're supposed to meet them there next week. Spend this time practicing until your fingers bleed. Then get the krazy glue and keep practicing."

         "Wow, oh, man. Wow. Thank you. God I don't know how to thank you," Jason said.

         "It's no problem, Jase. Just remember to thank me at the Grammy's." Brian said with a laugh.

         A week later, Jason and Brian were on a plane to San Francisco. Jason had spent the entire time listening to all his Metallica records and playing along with the bass parts. Cliff Burton had been one of his idols, and a part of him felt guilty for taking this opportunity, but if anyone was going to be the new bass player for Metallica, Jason reasoned, it should be someone who would honor Cliff’s memory.

         There were a few other bass players in the audition hall, but not many, Jason noted. He sat to the side with the other bass players holding on to the bass guitar Brian had lent him. He was grateful Brian had come with him so he didn't have to do this alone.

         Brian was with Rock who sat next to James. Jason knew them all from the magazines and from getting to see them play a live show when the band had been in Phoenix awhile back. He was suddenly sad when he remembered he'd never get to see Cliff play live again. He looked over at the faces of the rest of Metallica; they didn't look too happy either.

         The bassists auditioning were told to play several Metallica songs. You could tell which songs they had practiced and which songs they didn't. Jason felt a new wave of confidence. So long as he didn't freeze up, he could play every song James, Lars, and Kirk had requested from the others so far.

         When it was his turn to play, he got up and started wiping the sweat off his hands onto his jeans. He plugged the bass into the amp provided and warmed up a minute with some chords.

         "This is Jason Newsted," Bob Rock said to Metallica.

         "All right," James said. "Let's hear Whiplash."

         Easy, Jason thought. And so was "The Four Horsemen" when they asked him to play that one. Then it was “Seek and Destroy" (his personal fave), "For Whom the Bell Tolls", "Creeping Death", "Battery", and "Master of Puppets". He played them all without incident.

         "Okay, bass solo. Impress the fuck out of us now," James said.

         And so Jason tried, playing a few things he dished out when he was just fooling around at home. Then he slipped into "Orion" for a few minutes before ending with some heavy distortion. He looked up to gauge their reaction. Bob looked bored, but Jason was happy to note that the rest of the guys didn't. James, Lars, and Kirk simply looked at him curiously.

         "Ok, thank you," Bob said. "Up next is Les Claypool."

         Jason unplugged and headed back to his chair. He was feeling confident until Les Claypool started warming up. Jason stared on as Les ripped through the songs with equal ease.

         There was only one other bass player after Les and he was probably the worst of the lot. Jason looked over at Les, perhaps his only real competition. Les was obviously not a heavy metal kind of guy, but then was Cliff in his bell-bottom jeans? Jason bit his lip in worry.

         Afterwards Jason and Brian went to their hotel. Bob Rock said that he and the guys would talk it over and call them tomorrow to let them know their final decision.

         The next day Jason was sitting on the bed in the hotel room watching TV trying to look interested. He had woken up early, too nervous to sleep as he waited by the phone.

         "It'll be you," Brian said trying to help his friend calm down. "You played their songs the best."

         "But that guy, Les Claypool..." Jason trailed off.

         "He was good yeah, but he didn't play the songs like you did. He added like some weird funky take on it. You my friend are obviously all metal, and that's what Metallica is; a fucking metal band," Brian said with confidence.

         It was at that moment that the phone rang and Jason looked over in panic so Brian did him the favor of picking it up.

         "Hello, this is Brian Slagel," he said. "Uh-huh, oh okay. Sure. Ok. Thank you. Goodbye."

         He hung up the phone.

         "Well?" Jason said. He knelt up on the bed in anticipation. Brian looked at him and a smile slowly spread on his face.

         "You’re kidding?" Jason said.

         "I wouldn't kid the new bass player for Metallica," he said.

         "You’re kidding," Jason repeated, but this time with a smile. "Woo-Hoo!"

         Jason got up and started jumping on the bed. Brian jumped up on the bed and joined him in celebration.

         "Fuck yeah," Jason screamed.

         "You start the tour in 2 weeks my friend. Better start practicing," Brian yelled.

         Jason hopped off the bed then and looked worried.

         "Fuck I gotta practice, I gotta..." Jason smiled suddenly. "I gotta be ready to tour with Metallica."

         "We're going to meet with Bob for dinner tonight to work out the contracts. I'll help you if you want."

         "Of course man, of course. You can even take 10% or whatever like my agent or something."

         "Thanks, Jase," Brian said with a smile.

         "I bet it'll be weird at first, but..." Jason suddenly seemed unsure of himself. "Do you think it'll just be like a job, or do you think maybe they'll want to be friends. Fuck I sound like such a girl."

         Jason sat down on the bed in deep thought. Brian hopped off the bed, threw an arm around him, and tried to calm the young bassist's nerves.

         "It'll be cool man, you'll see. Those Metallica guys are notorious partiers. One night of drunken revelry and I'm sure you'll fit right in."

         Jason smiled.

         "I'm still having a hard time believing this," Jason said.

         "Believe it. You're a great bass player. I knew as soon as I spoke with Rock that it was going to be you. Not a doubt in my fucking mind." Brian said.

            "Thanks man." Jason hugged him for a moment. He felt on top of the world.


	2. two

**TWO**

        

 

         Jason's enthusiasm to be in Metallica had never waned, but he had noticed straight off that the other guys did not want to be his friend. At rehearsals, they only spoke to him when they needed to, and on tour it was pretty much the same way. Jason had to room with James and after a few failed attempts at starting a conversation, he simply read magazines because James hogged the TV and wouldn't let him watch anything.

         He tried not to let it bother him figuring they were still in mourning over Cliff. The thought helped him feel better, but it didn’t stop Jason from feeling lonely on the road. At least he enjoyed his time onstage playing for the audience. Meeting the fans usually lifted his spirits a bit too. Also, he would call Brian and give him the highlights of the tour while keeping his isolation to himself.

         Still, Jason tried not to let it bother him much. He still had what he'd wanted, to play in a band that didn't constantly break-up, and thanks to the contracts Brian helped him with, he could now live on his musician income alone even after the tour was over and he was back home.

         When he was called in to start recording on the new album he couldn’t help but hope maybe things had changed a little. He did notice that the guys were a little bit more lighthearted and carefree when he got to the studio. But as soon as Jason said hello all he got was an acknowledging nod before the guys went back to joking with each other.

         It was a disheartening few months where Jason simply played his bass parts and then went home alone. Bob would give him small directions on how he may have wanted something played differently, but other than that ignored Jason entirely. Jason could hear James, Lars, and Kirk make plans to go out places together, but they never invited him.

         So one day when Bob gave Jason a written message from a phone call Jason didn’t blink twice. Bob usually waited to give him messages after he was done with the workday.

         Jason looked at the note and gasped. It was from Brian's wife Shelly. Brian had a heart attack that morning and died in the hospital in the afternoon. Jason looked up to where Bob was gathering his notes and putting them into a briefcase.

         "When did she call?" Jason tried to say without crying.

         "Uh," Bob looked at the note at his chicken scratch. "Like around 3 or so."

         Jason looked up the clock on the wall. It was 7:48p.m.

         "And you just gave this to me now?" Jason asked a little angry.

         "Well, he was already dead. It's not as if you could do anything about it at that point. Might as well finish working the day," Bob said nonchalantly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

         Jason stared in disbelief at Bob as he walked out the studio door. As the other guys from Metallica came in to grab their stuff Jason looked away.

         "What's wrong Bass Face," James asked.

         Lars started to laugh as he pulled his hair out of the ponytail and shook it out.

         “Bass face,” Lars said. “I like that. It’s fitting.”

         “Yeah, you make some funny ass faces when you’re on stage,” Kirk laughed.

         “Ass-faces,” James laughed. “You said Ass face.”

         "My friend Brian died," Jason quietly said.

         The guys stopped laughing for a moment to look at him.

         "Oh, sorry man," Kirk said. He looked at James and Lars who simply shrugged at him. "Well, we'll see you tomorrow."

         The guys walked out together leaving Jason alone in the studio. He walked over to the phone on the wall and started dialing Brian’s house number.

         Two days later Jason had called into the studio and left a message with a secretary that he was going to be in late. He had nothing fancy to wear to the funeral of his friend, but at the very least he owned a lot of black clothing even if it was mostly faded and tattered.

         There were already a number of people there. Along with family were some of his fellow musicians, people Brian had helped and people Brian had introduced him to. There were a couple of guys playing guitar while another guy sang a few old songs.

         The widow sat in the front of the closed casket holding her sister’s hand. Jason made his way over to her to pay his respects. He kneeled down in front of her and laid his hand on top of the sisters.

         “Shelly,” Jason said. “I’m really sorry. I’m really going to miss Brian.”

         Shelly nodded and then reached down and picked up a bag from the floor next to her chair. She looked in the bag, took out a chain, and handed it to him. Jason looked down and saw it was a simple ball chain with a pendant of a guitar pick. He twirled it around for a moment and saw a skull on one side and Ozzy Osbourne’s logo on the other.

         “What’s this?” Jason asked.

         “It was Brian’s, it was one of the pick’s he used on the Ozzy tour back when Ozzy first left Black Sabbath,” Shelly said.

         “Oh,” Jason said. “Are you.. I mean.. is this for me?”

         “I’m giving away little things,” Shelly said. “I want everyone to have a piece of Brian to remember. He was always very proud of you, you know.”

         “Thank you,” Jason choked on his words. “Really, thank you.”

         Shelly nodded and then held on to her sister’s hand again. Jason took that as a cue, stood up, and walked off a distance away to let others come and offer their condolences to Shelly.

         He stood by a doorway. A few people came up to him to congratulate him for his being accepted into Metallica. Someone handed him a beer. Jason felt a little self-conscious at all the congratulations he was getting now.

         “Don’t look so uncomfortable,” this longhaired guy appeared out of nowhere next to him and Jason almost jumped.

         “Dude,” Jason said.

         “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya,” he said. He stretched his hand out in greeting. “Name’s Phil.”

         Jason shook it. “Pantera?”

         “Yeah,” Phil said.

         “Awesome band,” Jason said.

         “I agree. So’s the one you play for.”

         “Thanks.”

         “See? It’s okay to take a compliment. Even at a funeral,” Phil said. “They need something nice to talk about to lighten the mood a bit. Plus, you remember Brian, you think he’d have wanted everyone sitting around quiet-like and looking miserable?”

         “No,” Jason shook his head.

         “That’s right he wouldn’t. I think this is a great funeral. There’s beer, there’s music, good people. When I die I want my friends, if I have any left, to blast some Slayer at the burial.”

         Jason smiled. “I feel the same way. Except maybe I’d go with Sepultura.”

         Phil’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s a good choice, Jason. I’ll try to remember that one. Maybe I’ll make a mix tape of songs I want played when they put me in the ground.”

         Jason raised the beer in his hand to Phil and Phil clicked it with his in toast.

         “To Brian,” Jason said and drank a bit.

         “To Brian,” Phil repeated and chugged the remainder of his own beer.

         When the priest called for silence as he read prayers in front of the casket, Jason stood in the back next next to Phil and alongside the other musicians. The family was seated in the front, Shelly crying softly. Afterwards, the pallbearers lifted the casket to take to the cemetery. Phil and Jason started walking out of the funeral home with the rest of the mourners.

         “You going to the burial,” Phil asked.

         “I should get back to the studio,” Jason said. “The burial’s more for family anyway.”

         “You need a ride back?” Phil asked.

         “I don’t live far. I just walked over here,” Jason followed him as they walked towards the grass. “My car’s at home.”

         Phil stepped on a large stick as he walked, breaking it in half. He reached down, picked up one of the pieces, and started twirling it in his hand.

         "Hey Bass Face!" Jason heard someone yell out.

         He looked behind him and it was Lars standing a bit away with Bob Rock under the shade of a tree. Jason walked towards Lars and Bob with Phil trailing behind him.

         "What are you doing here?" Jason asked.

         "Break time's over, back to work." Bob said. "We figured it was quicker to just come and get you."

         "Come on. The car’s over here," Lars said.

         “Hey, fuck off,” Phil said. He aimed his stick at Lars. “The guy just got out of a funeral. I’m sure you can give him a god damn moment to grieve.”

         “Oh, like I’ve never had one of my closest friend die,” Lars said sarcastically. “Didn’t stop me from working when I had to.”

         “Watch where you’re pointing that thing,” Bob said to Phil.

         “It’s okay, Phil,” Jason said. “I was going back to the studio now anyway.”

         Phil huffed and then gave Lars an evil glare. The drummer wordlessly lowered his sunglasses over his face and walked off towards the car he and Bob had driven there.

         “I’ll see you around, Phil,” Jason said. They shook hands before Jason followed behind Lars and Bob to the car.

         In the back seat Jason looked over the chain Shelly had given him and put it on. He held the guitar pick for a moment as he listened to Bob and Lars talk in the front seat and silently prayed for Brian to give him strength. Then he tucked the necklace into his shirt.

         When they got to the studio Jason sat in the room listening to the final version of _... and Justice for All_. He was confused. There was no bass in the mix; he had been completely taken out of the new album. He looked at the others to gauge their reaction, but they weren't looking at him. Only Bob raised an eyebrow at him and smiled daring Jason to say anything.

         "We should celebrate," Lars said. "Let's get some beers and listen to the whole thing over and over until our ears bleed."

         "Fuck yeah, beer!" James yelled.

         "Hey Jason," Bob said to him. "Go get my boys some beers at the supermarket."

         "That's five blocks away," Jason said. "My cars back at my house."

         "You're strong, I'm sure you can make it," Bob said.

         "Yeah, Bass Face," Lars laughed. "Go get us some beer."

         The other guys laughed with Lars and even Bob joined in. Jason looked around the room for a moment, but not finding anyone who would defend him simply agreed and left the room to go get them beer. He was half-way out the building when he realized they hadn't even given him any money to help him pay for it.


	3. three

**THREE**

        

 

         Getting and paying for their beers had just been the beginning, Jason soon found out. Once the band was back on tour, Jason was working double duty as bassist and roadie. While James, Lars, and Kirk went to press meetings and such, Jason helped the roadies load and unload the gear, restring instruments, and check into hotel rooms.

         Jason had even lost his place rooming with James. The singer got a room all to himself now and Jason was sent to room with the roadies. Honestly, Jason preferred it this way, free of James and his selfish TV and hot water hogging.

         So instead of being friends with his band mates as he had originally hoped, he became really good friends with his roommates: Bruno, Gus, and Jaq. The four would often hit the bars together, or go sight seeing if time allowed. They bonded over Bob's tyranny and often made fun of the other members of Metallica behind their backs. Jason was happy to have found a group of friends to hang out with. It was a big change from the lonely days of the Master of Puppets tour.

         Jason realized he may not have an equal part in the band, but he was all right with being a hired hand because he was making money for playing music, he was traveling, and he was doing this along with some great people, even if those people weren't Metallica.

         One day as Jason was with the band doing a sound check before a show, Bob came up to the stage holding some papers in his hand.

         "Guys, guys!" he yelled out. "Shut up. Stop playing. Come here!"

         All four of Metallica turned off their guitars and gathered around Bob. Jason stayed quietly in the back as usual.

         "What's up?" Lars asked.

         "I just got the info now over the phone. The Grammy nominations are going to be announced tomorrow," Bob said with a smile.

         "And?" Kirk asked impatiently.

         "You guys were nominated!" Bob yelled.

         James, Lars, and Kirk yelled out their joy at the news. Even Jason couldn't help but smile. A Grammy nomination, it's like the Holy Grail for musicians.

         "Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance Vocal or Instrumental," Bob said. "I don't know who the other losers nominated are, but there's no way anyone's gonna beat Metallica in a metal category."

         James threw an arm around Lars who threw an arm around Kirk.

         "So are we performing?" Lars asked.

         "Unsure yet, got to make a few calls," Bob said.

         "Fuck it," James said. "We can't perform metal for that lame ass crowd anyway."

         "Do we have to wear tuxes?" Jason asked.

         All the other turned to him then seemingly unaware that he'd been there the whole time.

         "I'm not wearing a tux," James said.

         "No tuxes, but nothing with holes in it either. This is a nice event." Bob said. "And there's no real need for you to go Jason if we don't perform."

         "Yeah, but," Jason started. "But I'd like to go. I've never been to the Grammy's and if Metallica wins, I'd get an award too."

         The three guys looked back at Bob sharply. Bob jaw was working something tight as if he was biting back a response.

         "We might need you to stay with the crew, Jason. We'll be flying out the next day to resume the tour. They might need your help."

         "But what if I can get my part done," Jason protested. "I'm sure Bruno and the guys can cover me and I'll make it up to them later."

         Bob sighed roughly.

         "Well, if Bruno and the rest of the crew say they can manage one man short," Bob started and then saw the excitement on Jason's face. "And if you could find something decent to wear that won't embarrass me then... I guess you can go."

         Jason's face lit up in a smile.

         The rest of Metallica looked slightly offended.

 

_____________________________________

 

 

         By the time the Grammy’s rolled around, Jason already had everything worked out. He'd talked to Bruno and the rest of the crew who were more than happy to cover for Jason in his absence so the bass player could go to the award show.

         Jason didn't have much in the way of Grammy event clothing, but managed to buy stuff at various airports along the way in order to look presentable in the event. He bought shoe polish for his boots. He bought a black tie he found in one of the hotel gift shops. Even Gus helped by patching up a shirt he saw Kirk throw away.

         It turns out Metallica wouldn't be performing; AC/DC would have the honor. After hearing they were nominated as well, Jason was a little unsure if Metallica would win, but kept his hopes up.

         Jason knew Bob didn't really want him to go so Jason wanted to be sure he was ready early and looked presentable. He washed his hair in the morning, cleaned out all the dirt from under his nails, washed what he was going to wear the night before.

         He looked himself over in the mirror as he combed his hair.

         "You clean up all right," Bruno said from behind him.

         "Thanks," Jason said. "And thanks for ironing the pants while I was showering. I’m shit at ironing. Tell Jaq and Gus I appreciate them covering for me too."

         "You owe them a round next time," Bruno said. Jaq and Gus were currently sleeping in the tour buses as guard dogs for all the gear. "But no worries Jase, we're you're friends."

         Jason put on the tie and adjusted it.

         "Do you think we'll win?" Jason asked.

         Bruno sighed.

         "You deserve to win, Jase, you do."

         "But..." Jason asked.

         "They don't. It's double edged sword here, cause honestly I just hope they lose. I would love to be there just to see the look on their faces when they lose. But I don't want you to lose."

         "I may never have another chance at winning a Grammy," Jason said. He smoothed out his tie and shirt in the mirror. He was basically ready to go.

         "Hey, lots of people don't win Grammys," Bruno. "You should just go and have fun. I heard Tina Turner's gonna be there. You gotta tell me if those legs are as spectacular in person as they look in the magazines."

         Jason laughed.

         "You ready then?" Bruno asked.

         "Yeah."

         "Get downstairs before they leave you just to spite you."

         Jason shrugged and headed for the door.

         He was downstairs in the lobby waiting before anyone else was. When the limo arrived, he saw the guys trickle down and the look of surprise when they saw him ready.

         "Jason," Bob said. "You don't even match."

         The other guys were wearing simple black pants with black leather jackets and matching t-shirts.

         "I'm wearing black too," Jason protested.

         "Is that my shirt?" Kirk said and pointed.

         "You threw it out, Gus patched it up," Jason said.

         "You dug it out of the garbage?" Lars said. "Dude, ew."

         "Jason, the black of your pants is fading and looks mismatched with Kirk's shirt that you dug out of the garbage," Bob said. "You look completely mismatched. I can't let you embarrass the band like this. Let's go boys."

         The rest of Metallica turned away and started walking to the entrance. The limo was waiting by the curve with the door open for them.

         Jason walked behind Bob protesting.

         "It's fine. It's black on black; no one is going to notice it's a different shade of black. It'll be too dark."

         It was raining outside and the doormen had umbrellas to walk the band members to the limo without getting too wet. Bob was last to file out and as he walked to the limo he stopped short and turned to Jason.

         "Well, fine... I did promise."

         Jason smiled and moved to walk the few feet to the limo, but then something horrible happened. He tripped and fell right into the puddle by the limo. Face first into the mud and splattered it all over himself and his clothes.

         He looked back up to see Bob smirking. The window to the limo pulled down and the guys stuck their heads out laughing at him.

         "Hey Bassface. You got mud on your face," James laughed.

         "You big disgrace," Kirk sang.

         "Kicking your can all over the place," Lars finished.

         Then all together, they sang the chorus "We will rock you" as they closed the window to the limo.

         "Gee golly, Jason. That's a right shame," Bob said sounding anything but sorry. "But you can still watch the award show from your hotel room TV."

         Bob walked around and got into the limo from the side without the puddle. Jason slowly stood up and the limo drove away sending a new wave of muddy water flying at him.

         Jason bit his tongue not to cry as he turned away to go back inside.

         "You know he tripped you right," said the door attendant as he walked back with Jason holding an umbrella uselessly over the bassist.

         Jason just nodded his head.

         He went upstairs trailing mud all over the hotel floor. He didn't have his key and had to knock on the door.

         "Oh, god, I knew it," Bruno sighed. He stepped aside to let Jason into the hotel room.

         "I don't want to talk about it," Jason said softly.

         The bassist walked into the bathroom and started peeling off the muddy clothes and dropping them onto a corner in the floor feeling sorry for housekeeping.

         "Is there anything I can do?" Bruno asked. "Maybe I can call downstairs and ask the front desk where the nearest mall is. I think we have time, we can buy something black and quick and just drop you off?"

         Jason shook his head. "I'm just going to take a shower."

         There was no point in going if Metallica didn't want him there anyway. Maybe if they won, Jason thought, they wouldn't have even let him go onstage with them.

         When Jason got out of the shower Bruno was still in the room, but now he was joined by Jaq and Gus.

         "Listen," Gus said. "If you don't wanna go to the Grammys then we should at least go out and get drunk."

         "Yeah, we're not letting you sit here watching it. We're gonna go out, get some booze, maybe get you laid," Jaq said.

         "Thanks guys," Jason said. He held his towel wrapped around his waist. "But I'm kind of tired. It's a good thing I fell, cause I'm really tired."

         "Jase," Bruno said seriously. When Jason looked at him he continued. "Put some clothes on. We're going to a bar."

         Gus opened Jason's suitcase and threw a Pantera shirt at Jason's head.

         "Let's go," Gus said.

         Jason agreed and put on the Pantera shirt. Bruno dialed the front desk and asked them where the nearest bar worthy of a serious rock and roller was.


	4. four

**FOUR**

 

 

         The bar was a few blocks away. It was a respectfully rock n’ roll looking place, dingy enough to look used and comfortable without looking like a complete dive. Inside there were various TVs playing all different channels from ESPN to local channels and reruns. The boys took Jason away from the one playing the Grammy pre-ceremony and instead near one showing a poker tournament.

         It was dark inside and for that, Jason was thankful. He was in no mood to be recognized because he wasn’t sure he could be cheerful enough to deal with a fan right now and the inevitable question… why wasn’t he at the Grammys? He sat with his back to the door to lower the amount of people who would see him.

         "I'd know those curls anywhere," Jason heard a voice behind him say.

         He turned around in dread, but then smiled slightly when he realized it was a friendly face. It was Phil Anselmo from Pantera. He was a wearing a dark blue hoodie that still had the rain drops on it from outside.

         "Hey man," Jason said. He held out his hand and Phil shook it. "It’s great to see you. How are you?"

         "Cool, man," he responded.

         Phil pulled up a barstool and sat down with them. Jason introduced everyone at the table to Phil, and they pointed out what a coincidence it was that Jason was wearing a Pantera shirt at the moment.

         "So what are you doing here?" Phil asked. "Aren't you nominated for a Grammy? That's tonight, right? It's on the TV over by the pool table."

         Jason lost his smile. He looked away and focused on the top of the table.

         "They didn't want him to go," Jaq said.

         "Bob tripped him into the mud," Gus said.

         Jason glared at them, embarrassed to be humiliated in front of yet another person.

         "God those guys are assholes. And believe me, I know an asshole when I see one," Phil said and pointed to himself.

         The guys laughed. Even Jason had to give a small chuckle at that. Phil was abrasive and rubbed many people the wrong way. But the truth was that Phil was always very nice and protective of the people he actually liked.

         "So fuck 'em man," Phil said. "Why don't you go anyway?"

         "It's too late now," Jason said. "I don't have anything to wear anyway."

         "We offered to take you to the mall," Bruno said.

         Jason shrugged.

         Phil looked at his watch.

         "It starts at 8pm right?" Phil asked.

         The guys nodded.

         "It's 7:30. You can make it," Phil said.

         "But I have nothing to wear," Jason said. "Can we pretend I didn't say that incredibly girly thing just now?"

         The guys laughed.

         “There’s got to be something we can do.” Phil looked at Jason and then back at himself. "What size pants do you wear?"

         "32-34," Jason said.

         "I think my pants will fit you," Phil said.

         Jason looked down at the black jeans Phil was wearing. They were very dark; you could hardly tell they were jeans. They looked brand new too, not faded from the dryer, no holes from rough use.

         "Well, I guess that can work, but what about the rest of it?" Jason said pointing to his Pantera shirt and then to Phil’s white t-shirt with the hole by the collar.

         Phil looked around the bar at the people, sizing them up. His gaze fell on the wall behind the bar.

         "Over there, the bar t-shirt. It's new, black, rock n' roll with a silver skull design. Wear it under a jacket and who's to notice?" Phil said.

         "But..." Jason said. “What jacket?”

         "I’ll find one, just trust me dude," Phil said. "You are going to that award ceremony. Shut up, and watch me make it happen."

         "Yeah, Jase," Jaq said backing up Anselmo. "You already got your good boots on. I polished them again while you were in the shower."

         Phil stood up and pointed at Gus and Jaq.

         "You two get him into the women's bathroom; it’s cleaner. The floor in the men’s bathroom is sticky,” Phil said and then pointed to Jason, “Start getting undressed in the handicap stall. Bruno you come with me, we're going to get him that shirt and find a jacket."

         As told, Gus and Jaq took a still protesting Jason and shoved him into the women's bathroom. A girl inside just looked at them and continued applying her make-up as the guys put Jason in the handicap stall where there’s more room.

         “You heard Phil, Jase,” Gus said. “Now strip.”

         Jason started shedding his clothes, smiling slightly.

         A few minutes later Phil and Bruno came in. Phil went into the stall with Jason. He showed him the t-shirt he'd bought.

         "And I got this leather jacket from some guy by the bar,” Phil said holding it up. “I think it'll fit. We owe him that Pantera t-shirt you were wearing and I have to sign it. And then we got to take some pictures with him and I got to stick around and play him and his friend’s a round of pool," Phil said.

         Phil started taking off his pants and handed them to Jason. It was a perfect fit. Phil started putting on Jason’s pants as Jason changed into the bar shirt. Jaq and Gus stood around taking clothes and handing them over. Lastly, Jason put on the jacket. It was perhaps a size bigger than he would have normally bought.

         “Wow,” Gus said. “It looks even better than what you were going to wear.”

         Phil reached into Jason’s shirt by the collar and took out the guitar pic pendant chain he had underneath. He laid it out so it was on display then he smoothed down the jacket.

         "Not bad," Phil said. "If I were a girl, I'd fuck ya."

         "Thanks," Jason smiled.

         Jason opened the stall and saw himself in the mirror. He smiled. Gus was right, this outfit was even better than the last one.

         “Man,” Jason said. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you. All of you.”

         "Phil Anselmo, singer and personal stylist," Bruno said as he nodded his approval.

         "I told you it would work. The pants, the shirt, the jacket. Put 'em together and what have you got," Phil said rhetorically.

         "Bippity-boppity-boo," Gus sang.

         "What?" Phil looked over at Gus confused.

         "Bippity-boppity-boo." Gus said without singing. "The song in Cinderella that the fairy godmother sings."

         "And exactly who is the fairy godmother in this scene?" Phil asked getting angry.

         "Bruno!" Gus said quickly. “Bruno is the... fairy godmother… cause you’re not… a fairy.”

         "All right then." Phil said. He turned to the girl still in the stall. "Hey, you got a hair thing I can borrow?"

         The girl started digging through her purse as Phil walked over to her.

         "Hey," Bruno said. "We should call a cab to take Jason over there.”

         Phil took the the hair band and then handed it over to Jason. The grateful man pulled his hair back and wrapped the hair band around it into a ponytail. He gave himself the once over in the mirror again. He looked semi-formal in a metal sort of way, but clean and tidy. He should fit right in without drawing any attention to himself.

         "Just take my car,” Phil said. He took his keys out of his jacket pocket and handed them over to Bruno. “You can drop him off and pick him up. But you gotta be back here by midnight."

         "Why?" Bruno asked.

         "Cause I'm on parole and I got curfew," Phil answered.

         They headed out of the bathroom and to the guy at the bar who’d given his leatherjacket. Jason posed for a few pictures with the man and for a few with the bartender who promised the rest of Jason’s friend’s a free round.

         "Thanks Phil," Jason before he left.

         "No problem. You should really think about ditching those guys. The money can't be worth it no way," Phil said. He patted Jason on the back.

         "If I had anywhere else to go, man."

         "I wish I could hire you," Phil said. "But our bass player's pretty good too."

         "Let's go," Bruno said.

         They walked off leaving Phil with Gus and Jaq. Outside the rain had stopped. Jason followed Bruno to an orange muscle car with black racing stripes. It was a mustang from the 70’s Jason would guess, but the age was only in the design, everything else looked brand new. Jason smiled as he got into the beautiful antique car; he had really wanted to go to the Grammys.


	5. five

**FIVE**

 

 

         Jason arrived at the Grammy's a few minutes late. Bruno dropped him off at the front entrance and then parked the car a ways off to wait for him. Jason rushed up to the door, he didn’t have his invitation, but a quick ID flash confirmed his identity and his name was already on the guest list.

         "I'm sorry," the guy at the gate said. "The Metallica table is filled up now, I'll have to sit you somewhere else where there's space.”

         "That's perfectly fine with me," Jason replied in relief. He hadn’t been looking forward to seeing his bandmates reaction at his arrival.

         Inside, the usher led Jason to a table where there was still an empty seat. The bass player sat down and then looked around at the other people sitting with him and then almost fell out of his chair.

         "Well, hello there, how they hanging?” said a man two seats away.

         Jason opened his mouth to reply, but found he had no breath. He’d met a lot of famous musicians after joining Metallica, but this was Ozzy Osbourne, living legend. He swallowed before trying to speak.

         "Hi," Jason said. "Um, hi."

         "You're Jason Newsted right," the lady next to him asked. It was Sharon Osbourne. He recognized her from the pictures in the magazines. Sharon was Ozzy's manager and wife.

         "Yes, um, thank you. You recognize me?" Jason’s smile lit up his face.

         "Well, Metallica is one of the biggest metal bands around. And it's my business to know these things," Sharon said.

         "Where are your band mates, man?" Ozzy said. He looked around a bit. "I know I saw them somewhere, I think."

         "I got here late," Jason said.

         "Well, I can speak to the usher if you want," Sharon said. "Not that we don't want you here or anything, but I'm sure you'd rather sit with your band."

         “No, no!" Jason said quickly. "Actually, I'd rather sit here thank you. I've always been a big fan."

         "That’s a nice shirt. I’ve been to that bar before, years ago.” Ozzy said and then turned to his wife. "He's not wearing a tie Sharon, why do I have to wear a tie?"

         "You look lovely, Ozzy," Sharon smoothed over the red tie that stood out from the rest of the black suit the man wore.

         "Lovely?" Ozzy protested. "I'm not Prince Charming, Sharon. I'm the bloody Prince of Darkness!"

         "I was wearing a tie," Jason broke in, "but it got ruined on my way here so I had to improvise."

         "Well, you look lovely too," Sharon said. She reached over and smoothed down Jason's shirt and noticed the chain around his neck. "Oh, this is nice. Where you'd get this?"

         "Oh," Jason said. "It was my friend's. He was on tour with you guys years ago actually, Brian Slagel.”

         "Brian! I love that guy. He’s a really nice fellow he is,” Ozzy replied. "Is he here? What's he up to?"

         Jason looked crestfallen.

         "I'm sorry to tell you this, but he died a few months ago."

         "That's terrible," Sharon said sadly. "I wish we'd known. We would have come to the funeral or sent the family something."

         "We could send something anyway." Ozzy said. "What does she like to drink? Was it Brandy?"

         "Ozzy," Sharon admonished. "I'm sure we can think of something more appropriate."

         "Sharon," Ozzy said. "If you died I'd want the brandy. Cases of brandy. I’d drink myself to death and they’d find my body on your grave the next morning."

         Sharon smiled at her husband and held his hand.

         After about an hour of friendly conversation with the Osbournes, the moment came for the Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance Vocal or Instrumental award announcement. The list of nonimees were shown in clips on the screens and then the presenter started to open the envelope.

         "Good, luck," Sharon whispered in Jason’s ear.

         "And the award goes too," the presenter on stage began, "Jethro Tull."

         The audience started clapping as Jethro stood up and made his way towards the stage.

         Jason looked confused for a moment. He shared a look with Sharon and Ozzy who also looked confused.

         Jason glanced over at the Metallica guys. They were angry and looked to be complaining with each other and Bob. As he watched Jethro take the stage to accept the award, Jason started laughing hysterically.

         "I'm sorry, dear," Sharon patted his shoulder.

         "No, that's all right," Jason said. He looked over at the Metallica guys again. "I think this is even better."

         Sharon glanced over at to where Jason was looking.

         "Are you happy they lost?" Sharon asked in sharp realization.

         "I think they could use to be taken down a couple of notches," Jason said.

         "Jethro Tull," Ozzy laughed. "Obviously the next big name in Heavy Metal. I always bang my head when I listen to Jethro Tull. Usually it's against the pavement."

         "Most musicians turn into egotistical bastards," Sharon said. "They need someone to keep them grounded. Do the other boys treat you all right? You're not sitting with them, they didn't wait for you, you're happy they lost. It doesn’t take a genius to see something is rotten in the state of Metallica."

         "You have to take the good with the bad." Jason shrugged.

         Sharon gave him a sharp look.

         "Any boy of Brian’s is a boy of ours," Sharon said. “Now you tell me what’s going on, dear.”

         "Well," Jason said. And then he told her all about that afternoon and how he came to be late. The Osbournes sat and listened horrified at what Bob and the rest of the band had done.

         Sharon shook her head when Jason was finished.

         "Those nasty nasty boys," Sharon said.

         "Well, that's karma for you," Ozzy said.

         Sharon looked at him quizically.

         "They lost a heavy metal award to fucking Jethro Tull," Ozzy laughed again. "There's no living that down. That’s fucking historical shit.”

         “You’re right, they got what they deserved,” Sharon said.

         The three new friends passed the rest of the night happily telling stories and making jokes. At the end of the award ceremony they got up to leave together. As the crowd started getting thicker towards the exit, Jason lost the Osbournes in the mass of people.

         He continued to make his way outside as he kept an eye out for them. Suddenly he felt a tap him on the shoulder.

         "Hey Bass Face," said James voice.

         Jason turned around. It was all three of them with Bob.

         "Hey guys," Jason said.

         "What are you doing here?" James said. "Where'd you get those clothes?"

         "Oh, just something I whipped together last minute."

         "You look like white trash," Lars said. "It's a good thing you weren't sitting with us."

         "You can't be seen with the band looking like that," Bob said. “You need to exit somewhere else so the photographers don’t see you.”

         "And this necklace is the worst. Only chicks wear their boyfriends guitar picks as a necklace." James said. He grabbed the chain around Jason's neck and tugged it until it broke off. "Oops, sorry."

         He let it drop to the floor. Jason was about to kneel down to get it back.

         "That's right Bass Face, kneel before your master," James laughed and the other guys laughed with him.

         Jason straightened up and looked James in the face before turning around and walking away. He was really upset at losing the necklace, but didn't ant to give James the satisfaction of watching him kneel to get it back. So Jason walked away as quick as he could through the crowd.

         "Hey Jason," Ozzy screamed when he saw him a bit far off in the distance. "Over here!"

         But Jason didn't hear him. He slipped off and down the block where he knew Bruno would be waiting in Phil Anselmo’s car.

         Ozzy saw the Metallica guys laughing at something and then walking off. The Prince of Darkness started after them and then noticed Jason’s necklace laying on the floor. The strap was broken. He bent over to pick it up.

         Sharon walked up behind him.

         "I bet those awful Metallica boys did something to him." Sharon said.

         "I'm sure he'll want this back," Ozzy said. "It goes with lots of different outfits."

         "C'mon, Ozzy," Sharon said. "I have an idea."

         Two blocks away Jason got into the car with Bruno and sped off.


	6. six

**SIX**

 

 

         After losing the Grammy to Jethro Tull, the guys from Metallica were even more cruel to Jason. Jason took it in stride, and felt a small guilty pleasure at the fact that they had all started to become equally horrible to each other. It was not unusual for Jason to walk into practice with Lars and James already snapping at each other and Kirk getting insulted if he tried to step in between them. The only thing that kept them going was Bob Rock who managed to quiet them down long enough to play a set, even if they hated each other all the way through it.

         Thankfully the tour ended just a month after that.

         It was the last show of the tour and Metallica was backstage bickering again as usual. The show had been piss poor in Jason's opinion. He tried to make it the best he could for the fans. It was San Fransisco, it was suppose to be the biggest show of them all.

         "I wish you'd put on a god damn shirt for once," James growled at Lars. "You think you're hot but you're not with your fucking beer packed abs coming in. Fucking little Danish garden gnome. Even Jason can score more chicks than you."

         Jason stood out of sight behind a row of lockers in the dressing room listening to the conversation. Fresh out of the showers, Jason changed into his regular clothes quietly. Ready to go back home and put this all behind him for the few months they would take a break.

         "At least I'm not the one who gets hit on by guys," Lars screamed back.

         "That was one time!" Kirk protested. "I can't fucking control who hits on me."

         Bob was on the sofa on a walkie talkie. Jason couldn't make out what the words were, just Bob agreeing with them.

         "Yeah, yeah, sure go for it." Bob agreed. He switched off thew walkie talkie. "That was the bouncer."

         "What he want?" James growled.

         "If you weren't too busy yelling at each other you might have heard," Bob said. "Ozzy Osbourne was here watching the show. He wants to come backstage now and meet you guys."

         Behind the row of lockers, Jason's face lit up. He hadn't seen Ozzy since the only time he met him at the Grammy's. He hoped Ozzy remembered him. He decided to wait hidden until the Ozman came in.

         James scoffed.

         "Big fucking deal," Lars said. "We're way bigger than Ozzy now."

         "Yeah, maybe Ozzy can open for us," James laughed.

         Bob laughed and so did the rest of the guys.

         Jason silently fumed behind the lockers. Metallica may have been metals it band right now, but Ozzy was legend, the inventor, the Prince of Darkness.

         The door opened soon and Jason peeked over to see Ozzy come in with Sharon Osbourne.

         "Well, hello there. Metallica," Ozzy said.

         James was first to greet him with a hand out.

         "Ozzy Osbourne," Bob said as he shook his hand, "Prince of Darkness. I'm Bob Rock, the manager."

         Jason took the opportunity now to come outside into the open. His hair was still slightly wet and dripping down his shirt. He pushed it behind his back. Ozzy caught sight of him.

         "Jason!" Ozzy said and made his way to the bass player. "Good to see you again. Sorry we lost you at the award show. I get easily distracted."

         "It's no problem," Jason said.

         Sharon came out and gave him a hug, "How have you been, J?"

         Jason nodded and smiled a little.

         "Wait, how do you know the Osbournes?" James nearly shouted.

         "We met at the Grammy's. Since I was late I got sat at their table since there was an empty chair," Jason responded.

         "Jason just joined the band awhile ago," Bob said. "Have you heard the new album? You can barely hear the bass parts, it was so bad we had to cover it up."

         "Well I know what I heard onstage, and that boy can play a wicked bass guitar," Ozzy said. "You obviously need to fire who ever produced your album."

         "I produced the album," Bob said.

         "Was it your first time, dear?" Sharon said. "Chin up, I'm sure you'll do better next time."

         "Might even beat out Jethro Tull." Ozzy said.

         "That thing was rigged," James shouted. It had become a new defense for the band to claim they had lost not on merit, but due to the politics of the Grammy committee.

         "Anyway," Bob rolled his eyes, "I'll admit Jason has improved some since the recording of the album."

         "Really?" Jason said with a bit of disbelief before he could catch himself.

         "Don't let one compliment go to your head, Bass Face," Lars said.

         "Sharon what's a Bass Face?" Ozzy asked.

         Sharon was about to respond when Bob interrupted.

         "So," Bob said to Ozzy, "I keep hearing this rumor that you are planning to start an all metal music festival. A summer tour? You know this was our last show for our own tour. Metallica's the biggest name in metal. You are here perhaps looking for headliners?"

         "Ozzy will be headlining his own festival thank you" Sharon said. "Anyway, since you started I guess I'll continue. We did come here to talk business."

         "Good," Bob said. "But we want to headline."

         "Actually we're here for your bass player. Ours quit to rejoin his old band."

         "Suicidal Tendencies reunited?" Kirk asked.

         "Yes," said Sharon. "And Rob left us to rejoin them. So I thought, do I know any good bass players? Well, certainly I do."

         "Me?" Jason asked. "You want me to join Ozzy's band?"

         "What?" Lars said. "But you just joined our band."

         "He's under contract," Bob protested.

         "I read the contract," Sharon said. "He's on a tour to tour contract. The tour is over and now he has the option to renew."

         Sharon let her words sink in as all the Metallica boys stood there with their mouths open. Jason's mouth hung open too.

         The guys noticed Jason's look of happiness.

         "No! You can not leave Jason," James started. "You're just gonna abandon us now? After we lost Cliff? After we took you in and made you a fucking millionaire?"

         "I'm not a millionaire, James" Jason said. "I don't get the same percentage cut as the rest of you."

         "Oh, so now you want more money is that it?" Lars yelled. "It's not enough to be part of the best band ever?"

         "You don't do half the work that we do, why would you get a better cut than you already do?" Kirk said.

         "Jason," Sharon said. "The tours over. You want to come with us?"

         "We'd love to have you. Save me the trouble of auditioning bass players. I saw how good you play, and you got the Brian Segel seal of approval." Ozzy added. "Oh and hey, I frogot to give you this."

         Ozzy reached into his pocket and pulled out the pick charm he'd lost in the Grammy's.

         Jason reached out and held it. It was placed on a new chain of silver. Quickly he put it back around his neck and smiled at the Osbournes.

         "We fixed it for ya," Ozzy said.

         "Thank you," Jason said. "C'mon let's get out of here."

         "You'll be my new bass player?" Ozzy asked.

         "Yes," Jason smiled.

         Sharon pulled him into a hug as the members of Metallica started yelling curses in the background.

         "You're going to fucking regret this," James said.

         Sharon opened the door and Ozzy walked out. Jason stopped and looked back at them seething in their own anger at him and at each other.

         "Maybe, but not for the reasons you think," Jason said.

         And then he turned around and shut the door shut behind him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could hear them start screaming at each other once the door was closed.

         Sharon took him by the hand and let him away. He saw Bruno, Gus, and Jaq loading up the buses outside. They saw him and gave him a thumbs up as he walked. Jason made the universal symbol for a phone and mouthed the words "I'll call you."

         "The roadies will your stuff to your house," Ozzy said. "We'll have our assistant forward them to our house in England. You can stay with us until you find a place for your own. That is if you don't mind our screaming children too much."

         "You okay," Sharon asked Jason. "I know this is a big decision."

         Jason nodded. "I'm all right Sharon. I'm happy."

         They came to Ozzy's limo and Jason got in last. He took one look back at the tour buses with Metallica before getting into the back of the limo. The Osbournes smiled at him and he smiled back. He finally found the family he'd been looking for.


End file.
